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We recommend water-based lube because it is safe to use with all types of toys. Generally you don’t need to disinfect toys that only one person uses or that stay covered with condoms. Some nonporous, nonmotorized toys can go into the dishwasher without soap for steam sanitizing.

"They’re great for folks who aren’t super flexible, or who have a tough time holding up their body weight," Wolfe says. "I don’t recommend classic police-style handcuffs, because they’re metal and could potentially cut one of the important veins near your wrist," Finn says. Like the idea of having to tell your partner exactly what you like, because you can’t show them? This product slips over the base of the penis to limit how much of the penis is able to go inside the vagina during P-in-V intercourse.

And boy oh boy are there a lot of different types of external vibes. "Whether you’re thrusting into someone else, into your own hand, or just wearing it around, you don’t want the dildo to be wiggling around," she explains. A prostate massager is a vibrating toy that goes up the anus to stimulate the prostate. "This can be thought of as the male equivalent to G-spot stimulators," Fleming says.

"While butt plugs are about creating a sustained sensation, anal beads are generally about one moment and movement," Wolfe says. Stretchy, adjustable, and stainless cock rings are often designed to go under the scrotum, too. There’s also double-strap strap-ons, which are designed to be worn by people with penises. There’s a hole for enchanting white fishnet nurse stockings the penis and a second one for the base of the dildo.

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